7 Years 7 Days 7 Years

The mist in your eyes..the glitter of your smile..the calmness in your voice..the clinging of your earrings..that killer smile..the sleepless nights and the overnight talks..the poise in your stance and that crazy dance..the way you say cuteness and the sudden shyness..the way you finish two pitchers of beer..and how all your plans were so clear..your kiss and the the way you said call me a miss..how you love to fight and how everything was so right..your beautiful long hair and your personality with so much flair..there was nothing I do not love about you! Be mine.

He wrote her a proposal. When he first met her there was nothing but sheer attempts of impressing that cute girl you see for the first time. And nothing more to it. In 7 years he kept in touch. She never let go. There was a certain energy about their relationship. An energy only a few feel, understand and embrace. There were never talks of commitments, or planning, or restrictions, or romance, or sex or anything. It was just a powerful and mystical energy that kept the flame going.

They knew when it was time. She met him. They hugged and the musical notes of the most romantic songs hit the right chords at the right time at the right place. Nobody could ever pierce even something as thin as a thread between their bond. They knew they would die for each other.

7 days before he wrote her the proposal, she said to him - "if this is the only life I have and if being with you would take me a 100 deaths to be there.. I would go for it.." He did not need another moment to grab his car keys and go buy a ring.

He reached and knocked on her door with the letter and the ring in his hands, trembling with anxiety and cold with fear. A lady, someone he doesn't know answers the door. He peeps in without trying to know who that is. There are people. People he hasn't seen or heard of. He storms in and drops the letter and the ring. 

7 years 7 days and 7 years since. He sits by the trees and gazes into the setting sun to wait for it to rise again. She's gone. He has the letter and the ring. He waits. 

I will survive..!

Why do you have to suffer when I get to go out and play and have fun? What is wrong with you? Why are you so weak? Daddy where is mom? Daddy when is mom coming back? Zee why hasn't mother come back from her vacation yet? Questions of a growing kid whose mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and would never come back. After a few years, the questions begin to dry up. There is no more appetite for curiosity or anxiety. The kid has grown up and accepted the fact that mother ain't coming back..Ever!!

There are thousands of families whose dreams are shattered to fine particles in split seconds when mothers, sisters, daughters, or aunts are diagnosed of the dreaded C word. How will you tackle that attack? How would a family with single parenting at the brink of occurring prepare itself? There can never be enough prep for such situations. Imagine the wrath of nature when such harsh things happen to someone who has never had any vices for a lifetime and still gets slapped with it.

I lost my aunt to Breast cancer when my cousin and I were still learning the traits of perfecting cycling. My memories about her are all fun. She was the most ecstatic personality I have ever come to be introduced to. Always cheerful and full of zeal and passion for everything around her. And then one day, just like that she was gone never to come back and take us kids out for fun shopping or a picnic.

I saw my cousin turn into the most boring kids after that. He went into his shell and suddenly became notoriously mischievous after. Today he has a family in California and looks back at his life as a guidebook on how not to handle tragedies in life.

With technology amusing us everyday, it is no surprise that Breast cancer can now be dealt with and pulled out of the very foundation. But does that mean a sigh of relief for getting life back or getting back to being what one was before? In many cases women who undergo mastectomy face mental challenges after surviving the cruelty of the condition. Most of us don't realise that it is as difficult to come out of this condition and try to gel into normal life as it is to get into it. My friends mother underwent mastectomy and it has shattered her level of confidence for the last 20 years. I am not sure if it has got to do anything with being in the Indian society but in general she has not coped well with the trauma.

The woman is scared for her daughters, has been scared that her husband wouldn't love her enough, has been scared that people might notice her deformity. A life engulfed with anxiety and sheer pressure to fight her way back to normalcy is an act of bravery. Such women have the courage, the ambition to survive, the strength to see their families happy.

It takes a lifetime to experience the true value of life itself. Ask those who suffered and have had a close acquaintance with death itself. Ask them how much they value life. My thoughts, my prayers, my strength goes to those who did not make it and to those who did. 

You have the power to say, "This is not how my story will end"

#Fashionvoicesbreastcancer

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Ragz

Worlds Apart..!

Sheer anxiety or excruciating excitement, call it what you may, is the biological experience that a 19 year Indian kid feels on the way to the International Airport knowing, in less than 24 hours she would be in a different time zone and a place where no one but the sky knows her. A bumpy flight, a connecting flight, extreme adrenaline rush, and a chill running down the spine. The audacity of this young girl to defy the odds of her orthodox family boundaries and fly oceans apart to realise what some may perceive as a dream.

Toronto is one of those cities which houses tens and thousands of such brave individuals. I say brave as I know what it is to be away. To be in a surrounding where uncertainty is your best friend. There are people who travelled in search of freedom and economic upgrade. And then there are youngsters who venture out looking for the grand stage of educational excellence.

There are a few things common amongst these migrants from all over the world. One is the passion they possess to succeed and the other is the grief they dwell in for being away from their own people, their country.

Do you know the plight of being removed from your comfort zone and expect you to swoop into a new system gracefully. But hey, look here, we all seem to be pros in this transition business. It doesn't take us to be super human to do that. It takes a lot of motivation, perseverance, and inspiration from people who have been doing this for years.

I met a woman on my way to school to whom I offered my seat on the bus. She had a twinkle in her eyes though her face spoke about the tiredness she was experiencing. She looked at me and asked if I were from India and it is one question I respond to like I could foresee the future..instantaneous!! Then she told me her story. I was in such awe to learn that she had traveled from Mumbai 35 years ago with her sister to make a successful career in baking. Well, she does have a small bakery today. The awe was not because she came to Toronto. It was because she never went back to Mumbai ever. For so many Toronto is now life, toronto is home! 

I have had my share of anxiety when I first travelled to Switzerland for my masters degree. The thing about this is that, even after years of travelling and the experience in living away from home, I still feel anxious, feel the uncontainable urge to just go back and embrace my city, my friends, my support system. But what do you know..here I am fighting the sub zero temperatures everyday, eating out of cans, and sitting in the subway sharing my thoughts and respect for those who brave the distance and look for progress.

Life is a book..Make yours the best seller..!

I leave you with a link to a beautiful song and video - http://youtu.be/UtF6Jej8yb4

Ragz