Fire Flies..!

"Life begins where your comfort zone ends" He said this with a lot of conviction behind his words. It is surprising how the universe conspires at times to put you in the right place at the most bizarre times! There are multiple facets of life that dawned upon me as I took this 20 minute Uber ride.

As talkative as I ever am, I met Brett who did one better. He was an intriguing conversationalist and an avid story teller. Obviously driving Uber wasn't his primary objective in life. He is in a profession most of us would either dream of or dread to be in. Two extreme scenarios. Well Brett is a firefighter!! Now most girls would jaw drop right at this moment.

The moment the words firefighter left his mouth, my mind had processed 729 questions for him. I was outpacing myself..all I had to do is say these very words.."What's your story Brett?" He had a big smile on his face right away and I would assume he gets that all the time. Eh..whatever..I am still down to listen to a few good awe inspiring crazy stories of bravado.

He gave me some unbelievable stories. One of the most intriguing ones was about these two farm boys who got stuck in some sort of farm equipment which is used to churn huge stacks of hay. This poor blokes sweater got stuck in the propeller and the next thing he knows..his arm gets squished in between those giant wheels of fury. Due to the toughness of the human bone and I would say some good karma..the propeller got jammed and it stopped. Brett was onsite on call in 4.5 minutes and found himself detaching this mans arm from the wheel to save his life. How must it feel to do that???? I was having multiple rounds of concussions just listening to the story and guess what..this man sitting next to me actually did it!!

The best part about this guy is his final words before we parted.."Hey man I love my job"!! Wow..now that is a lesson for each one of us to take home when we aimlessly cry about our jobs. I am not implying we all have the most satisfying jobs. But look at these folks. Firefighters, nurses, soldiers, cops, paramedics, and so many others. Some of them have no social life whilst others don't even know if they would have a life after finishing their hours for the day.

In retrospect, I want to look at my own life and say to myself..that I thank my parents and God to have given me this life and whatever I am doing today. I want to embrace every moment of this life and all that comes with it..my people my friends my colleagues and strangers!! 

Life is a gift and we must learn to treat it like one!

Dream on..Little dreamer..!

I am so high I can feel heaven..oh heaven..! I feel like the moon has opened its generous arms and I can cuddle with him. The Stars tell me I am one of them. The breeze is blowing my hair and the mellow green grass is inviting me to lay down and soothe my aura, the lull in the air tells me I am so serene. 

Words are such an addle when played right. It can bemuse us all with its tenacity. This girl keeps talking about how her life is so beautiful at that very moment, that instance! Knowing little of reality or rather when it will hit, she got moulded into shapes that the winds wanted her to transform into.

That is the thing about being in a state of trance. The dreamville of paradise. We all in some way or the other this way or that find that space at some point. More and more people resort to intoxication and psychological impairment aids. They call it psychedelics while our ancestors called the exact same thing meditation and out of body experiences. The source might differ in a big way, the destination remains constant.

For some it might just be as simple as music, for some the view of nature, whilst for others it never comes for a lifetime and the only out of body experience they have is death!

I have come to realise, it is imperative to give in to the wondrous charms of the unknown every once in a while. As they say go with the flow! It means something. It changes perceptions, opens new dimensions in the ever so industrious human brain, it lets you fly. 

My parents would probably not get what all this is about. But I can guarantee they have their moments of going away too. If they deny, they would be lying. I know a few people who just love gazing into the sky sometimes and build the Taj Mahal in 20 seconds, demeaning the hard work of those 40,000 craft workers who had their hands chopped off after building the beauty in 7 years.

All we need to know is that the sky belongs to no one! We have always had the right to dream. Choosing whether you want to stay in that world of fantasy or come back and make things happen in reality is a choice we all have. As they say, if you don't play you never win. At the end of the road, whether there is a brick wall or a new pathway, it shouldn't matter as we still have the choice to climb that wall.

Choose your source of getting away and remember - You gotta come back!

"Follow your dreams..they know the way.."

Ragz

If tomorrow never comes..!

I wake up to the brisk sunshine kissing my face while the sweet sound of merry chirping birds creates the perfect melody. As I am getting into the usual cluster of early mornings I hear a thudding on my door. Who thuds? As I sprung to open my door I saw a girl panting profusely. She looks at me and says, "it's done. We have 27 hours. The apocalypse is here."

I was inspired to write about this as I watched a fascinating film called "these final hours".

I have come to realise that all matter  is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration and that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There's no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we're the imagination of ourselves.

Look at it this way, what if you actually had 20 odd hours to live and you knew everything and everybody perishes after that. What would you want your life of 20 hours be like?? Friends, family, partners, random people, classmates, colleagues or if you can't reach out to any of this set, maybe you would want to be with just your neighbour.

If I had 20 hours, I want to be with my parents, my sister, my niece, my cousins, my partner and me friends. I want to cook for them. I want to  listen to good music, dance, play football, watch Anne hathways movie, and give head massages to everybody. 

I would want to see the light arms in arms with all these people because in the afterlife, for those who believe there is one, I want to see those faces  again.

Your life stares at you every morning. It thuds at your door and says, "hey this is it. I don't know if you will see me again tomorrow.." What does it mean??

Now think about all those things you kindled your brain with whilst thinking about the last few hours of your life. Do exactly those things today! Pick up the phone call your mum and say you love her, hug the breath out of your friend, smile so much today that 1% of worlds sorrows give in to your smile, embrace every breath of air cajoling your insides, love yourself!

And hey when it is time..you and I will go out smiling..! 

Ragz

"You don't know what you are alive for..until you know what you would die for.."

Maiden Mass..!

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another".

No. This is not a religious blog post. Those words hit the tympanic membrane of my ears as I stepped into the St. John XVIII Church completely soaked and gushes of the cold Canadian winter air still pumping my lungs. 

My first ever Mass!!

There is a reason why people, well predominantly, well ok only Christians call it a Holy week. Not that the other weeks are not worthy enough, but as I mentioned there is a reason to it. The departure of Jesus Christ, the agony that left a blemish on Earth's face and his ever divine Homecoming. These are the occurrences that constitute the embodiment of a celebratory week.

A friend of mine, much younger to me had the unsettling urge to attend the mass because she is Catholic and mostly because she wanted to please her Mother. I had never been to any Mass before. Although, I would every now and again go to a Church when I was studying in Switzerland. The reason - It was enchanting! The architecture!

I was  the only non-catholic figure in the premises at that time or at least I am pretty sure of it.  The hymns were supremely melodious. There were people of all ages, whispering, settling in, talking, coughing and some just calm. 

I was all ears and eyes to every movement, every sound, every turn of the page because I wanted to congregate information of what was going on. Why were people there. What do you mean by Mass. Why today.

Well literally mass just means a coherent, typically large body of matter with no definite shape. I heard the story. The story of Faith, Courage, Treachery, Supernatural, Kindness, Cruelty, Union, and more. I was nothing but flabbergasted. It had no twists, no creative touch, no manipulation. Simple, pure, straight truth.

Technically I am Hindu. A religion where you are never short of options of Gods to choose from. I believe in all of them. I do because I am scared. Because I am human. I do not know why, for the last 10 years I have always said a tiny prayer and crossed myself whenever I passed by a Church and this action has been involuntary.

I have been to Hindu Temples all my life. They are different. Louder, colourful, brighter. Churches are quieter, whiter, calmer. What was common? The believers! No matter where I went, or have been to, I found devotees from different parts of the society, backgrounds, orientation, race, and other classification there. All of those who believe. Who have a twinkle in their eyes.A twinkle of Hope and Progress. Honestly, I didn't feel like I was from another religion. Because, the one everybody was praying to, didn't look at me differently.

Nobody even knew. The message is clear. We are all going back together. One way or the other, this way or the other, we will see each other on the other side. The welcoming smiles, the soothing hymns, the cozy atmosphere, the beautiful white robes, the bewildering story telling and the classy oakwood furniture were all conspiring people into believing and having faith. That is the key!

Whether you follow a religion or not, there is always one source of energy that will work for you. That is your GOD!! Worship it, Respect it and Believe in it.

I went in a Human and came out a Human. The difference - I believe in peoples belief. 


Believe and Breathe..

Ragz

7 Years 7 Days 7 Years

The mist in your eyes..the glitter of your smile..the calmness in your voice..the clinging of your earrings..that killer smile..the sleepless nights and the overnight talks..the poise in your stance and that crazy dance..the way you say cuteness and the sudden shyness..the way you finish two pitchers of beer..and how all your plans were so clear..your kiss and the the way you said call me a miss..how you love to fight and how everything was so right..your beautiful long hair and your personality with so much flair..there was nothing I do not love about you! Be mine.

He wrote her a proposal. When he first met her there was nothing but sheer attempts of impressing that cute girl you see for the first time. And nothing more to it. In 7 years he kept in touch. She never let go. There was a certain energy about their relationship. An energy only a few feel, understand and embrace. There were never talks of commitments, or planning, or restrictions, or romance, or sex or anything. It was just a powerful and mystical energy that kept the flame going.

They knew when it was time. She met him. They hugged and the musical notes of the most romantic songs hit the right chords at the right time at the right place. Nobody could ever pierce even something as thin as a thread between their bond. They knew they would die for each other.

7 days before he wrote her the proposal, she said to him - "if this is the only life I have and if being with you would take me a 100 deaths to be there.. I would go for it.." He did not need another moment to grab his car keys and go buy a ring.

He reached and knocked on her door with the letter and the ring in his hands, trembling with anxiety and cold with fear. A lady, someone he doesn't know answers the door. He peeps in without trying to know who that is. There are people. People he hasn't seen or heard of. He storms in and drops the letter and the ring. 

7 years 7 days and 7 years since. He sits by the trees and gazes into the setting sun to wait for it to rise again. She's gone. He has the letter and the ring. He waits. 

I will survive..!

Why do you have to suffer when I get to go out and play and have fun? What is wrong with you? Why are you so weak? Daddy where is mom? Daddy when is mom coming back? Zee why hasn't mother come back from her vacation yet? Questions of a growing kid whose mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and would never come back. After a few years, the questions begin to dry up. There is no more appetite for curiosity or anxiety. The kid has grown up and accepted the fact that mother ain't coming back..Ever!!

There are thousands of families whose dreams are shattered to fine particles in split seconds when mothers, sisters, daughters, or aunts are diagnosed of the dreaded C word. How will you tackle that attack? How would a family with single parenting at the brink of occurring prepare itself? There can never be enough prep for such situations. Imagine the wrath of nature when such harsh things happen to someone who has never had any vices for a lifetime and still gets slapped with it.

I lost my aunt to Breast cancer when my cousin and I were still learning the traits of perfecting cycling. My memories about her are all fun. She was the most ecstatic personality I have ever come to be introduced to. Always cheerful and full of zeal and passion for everything around her. And then one day, just like that she was gone never to come back and take us kids out for fun shopping or a picnic.

I saw my cousin turn into the most boring kids after that. He went into his shell and suddenly became notoriously mischievous after. Today he has a family in California and looks back at his life as a guidebook on how not to handle tragedies in life.

With technology amusing us everyday, it is no surprise that Breast cancer can now be dealt with and pulled out of the very foundation. But does that mean a sigh of relief for getting life back or getting back to being what one was before? In many cases women who undergo mastectomy face mental challenges after surviving the cruelty of the condition. Most of us don't realise that it is as difficult to come out of this condition and try to gel into normal life as it is to get into it. My friends mother underwent mastectomy and it has shattered her level of confidence for the last 20 years. I am not sure if it has got to do anything with being in the Indian society but in general she has not coped well with the trauma.

The woman is scared for her daughters, has been scared that her husband wouldn't love her enough, has been scared that people might notice her deformity. A life engulfed with anxiety and sheer pressure to fight her way back to normalcy is an act of bravery. Such women have the courage, the ambition to survive, the strength to see their families happy.

It takes a lifetime to experience the true value of life itself. Ask those who suffered and have had a close acquaintance with death itself. Ask them how much they value life. My thoughts, my prayers, my strength goes to those who did not make it and to those who did. 

You have the power to say, "This is not how my story will end"

#Fashionvoicesbreastcancer

http://fvbc2015.wix.com/fvbc

@FVBC2015 

Ragz

Worlds Apart..!

Sheer anxiety or excruciating excitement, call it what you may, is the biological experience that a 19 year Indian kid feels on the way to the International Airport knowing, in less than 24 hours she would be in a different time zone and a place where no one but the sky knows her. A bumpy flight, a connecting flight, extreme adrenaline rush, and a chill running down the spine. The audacity of this young girl to defy the odds of her orthodox family boundaries and fly oceans apart to realise what some may perceive as a dream.

Toronto is one of those cities which houses tens and thousands of such brave individuals. I say brave as I know what it is to be away. To be in a surrounding where uncertainty is your best friend. There are people who travelled in search of freedom and economic upgrade. And then there are youngsters who venture out looking for the grand stage of educational excellence.

There are a few things common amongst these migrants from all over the world. One is the passion they possess to succeed and the other is the grief they dwell in for being away from their own people, their country.

Do you know the plight of being removed from your comfort zone and expect you to swoop into a new system gracefully. But hey, look here, we all seem to be pros in this transition business. It doesn't take us to be super human to do that. It takes a lot of motivation, perseverance, and inspiration from people who have been doing this for years.

I met a woman on my way to school to whom I offered my seat on the bus. She had a twinkle in her eyes though her face spoke about the tiredness she was experiencing. She looked at me and asked if I were from India and it is one question I respond to like I could foresee the future..instantaneous!! Then she told me her story. I was in such awe to learn that she had traveled from Mumbai 35 years ago with her sister to make a successful career in baking. Well, she does have a small bakery today. The awe was not because she came to Toronto. It was because she never went back to Mumbai ever. For so many Toronto is now life, toronto is home! 

I have had my share of anxiety when I first travelled to Switzerland for my masters degree. The thing about this is that, even after years of travelling and the experience in living away from home, I still feel anxious, feel the uncontainable urge to just go back and embrace my city, my friends, my support system. But what do you know..here I am fighting the sub zero temperatures everyday, eating out of cans, and sitting in the subway sharing my thoughts and respect for those who brave the distance and look for progress.

Life is a book..Make yours the best seller..!

I leave you with a link to a beautiful song and video - http://youtu.be/UtF6Jej8yb4

Ragz