You are why I am..!

"Son, you are always surrounded by your friends..you give them way too much importance.." My mum used to tell me this when I was a teenager. Wow, I never thought I would one day say these very words "back in the day when I was a teenager." Time trumps life. 

Coming back to my mothers analogy of being a little more self centred, I do get it. I know why my mum world say that. Not because she had any abhorrence towards my friends. It was more so to bring me to a juncture of self realisation that life does not work with having friends alone!!

I do not agree. It is probably a subjective argument. Let me ask you this, do you remember your earliest memory of a friend? That one kid, you literally remember being yelled at with, that kid whose lead was followed by you like he was the carrier of the beacon of your life, that one kid who you probably knew was so wrong yet you would stick around, that one kid who you fought with and still shared a lolly with, the cognisance of those days!! Flashes of your childhood and that one kid makes a whole lot of difference to the place where we are today because we laid the bricks to the monuments we are, a billion hours ago!!

Why do I remember 99.97% of my friends? I know that seems statistically impervious. I feel like every time some one uses numbers, it enhances the credibility of the matter. Regardless, the crux being, I remember not only the people tagged as my friends, but also the varied incidents associated to them.

My first ever buddy..Shantanu..who is a successful dentist today and has a beautiful wife, was the kid I wanted to be friends with. You mostly don't choose. Petty things like seating arrangement in a classroom can make a world of a difference in deciphering who you will grow up to be like. I feel friends are of paramount importance when it comes to who you become. Like parents and teachers, friends are an integral part of the architectural crew that moulds us.

My friendships have always taught me two things, first, find out the similarities, second, accept the differences!!

The preposterous pranks, the unconditional support, the study help, the covering up, the feckless laughter, the sand castles, the swing in the park, the first book, the sharing, the caring, the stories of how you like a girl, the secret keeping, the jealousy to not let anyone else be their friends, the going away, the coming together, the tears, the emotions, the gifts, the song, the birthdays, the break ups, the sex stories, the clothes that would disappear and found in her closet years after, that shoulder, that hand!!!!! No ma..my life has been defined by these people.

I am way past my teenage and my mid 20's and I still feel the exact same thing about my friends!! I make friends with the same intensity as I first made friends with Shantanu. 

The thing about life is that we are yearning for success and advancement every minute every moment in time. When did you last take a step back and think about that one examination in school which would have been monstrous mountain to climb if it wasn't for your friend who helped you learn or gave you the answers in your exam? How many times do we take that plunge into the past and think those people who made a difference? Almost never, not because we are bad people, but because we are lost!!

I cherish my friends. Yesterday, today and tomorrow. Those who came and went, those who stayed and those to come. I owe my life to them as much as I owe it to my parents and my sister as they are as much of friends to me as my friends are!

I might miss out on names here but will never miss feeling gratitude and love for each one of you. Thank you my people!!

In memory of my friends Santosh, Harshad, Fayaz and all those who we lost along the way!!

"Walking with a friend in the dark, is better than walking alone in the light.."

- Ragz

Who are we..?

When she told me I should go with her to a convention named Revival of the Islamic Spirit, a sense of utter cynical thought hit me hard. I said to myself, " is this a mass forum to cajole the minds of different faiths into accepting another religion?".

I was ready to take the plunge at one point. Not exactly knowing what is in store. We enter this fabulous architectural structure and I see people. None of whom transmitted vibes of any one religion or faith. Ah! That's a pleasant welcome. We get our tickets and glide down the long escalators to the main arena. 

The first thing to catch my haywire attention is the elephantine hoarding which displays a picture of a young girl in a distorted state. It reads "I am a refugee". It is a piece of art made to create awareness about the 9.8 million innocent lives who now carry the burden of being tagged as refugees and some people have the audacity to call them outcasts. 

I fathomed the message, the theme, the vibe of the whole event in split seconds. This wasn't about Islam! It was bigger than just a religious consensus. It was about humanity.

It's a fair. A gathering of people from the majestic Islamic faith from different facets and corners of North America. These individuals get together for 3 long days from dawn to dusk. They display art, they provide food, they sell ittar (traditional Muslim musk), they sell books, they network, they collect donations (for building a bright future for the less fortunate ones), they pray together, they laugh, they shed tears for those facing atrocities around the world (regardless of the faith), they attend long speeches,  and they unite as one!

You see, there are scholars from across continents who come and deliver mind boggling anecdotes. They amplify the feelings of human gratitude and generosity through excerpts from the holy book of "Quran". Now, not once in their lectures or speeches are they trying to up sell their religion. You won't hear them say things like "Islam is the ultimate religion or your guide to heaven". They talk about life and it's varied trepidations and phases. They talk about youth, they talk about parenthood, about marriage, about how some people misconstrue the message of Islam and make others get involved in wrongdoing to humanity.

I was flabbergasted when one lean looking guy, who is famed to be a scholar of some level, came up to the podium and when he walked off in 9 minutes, he had convinced quite a few folks to contribute towards the state of Syria. Those 9 minutes resulted into a total net donation of 170,000 Canadian Dollars. It shows, not that people want to splurge. It shows that there is hope. Hope for humanity. You and I could be at the receiving end some day and if people like this lean scholar and people like those who loosened their purse strings on the night exist, believe me you, we will always have hope.

I went in a human and came out a better one. I left a burden of another cynical virtue out and I rejuvenated again. Life is so strange as it takes you through the most daunted and illustrious  examples in the most unexpected ways and forms. 

Religion I feel is just that rope we humans hang on to when we see other humans create rifts and conjure atrocities. No matter who and what you follow, or if you follow, places like these and events like these will go a long way in Reviving your spirit..!! 

Ragz..

Flashback..!

Ever wonder what is in store? I do. There is so much and there is so little. She would sit and gaze at the beautifully cascading horizon. The pure warmth of the setting sun beyond the shimmering water would mark the end of another ever so marvellous day of sitting back and loitering her fragile brain to the wondrous days of frolic.

And today here at 87, she would try to churn out the memories and battle herself to picture them. Some days she managed going back all the way to when she was 14. But that was the pinnacle. Never beyond! She would remember the fondness she had for her gorgeous mother. Her amazingly tantalising cooking. Her ever so strict upbringing. Her support. Her confidence in her that she would be someone and do something extra ordinary though she knew it was not a reality.

What can you say about mothers! Whatever you do, they think you are the best at it. And then she would race back in time to catch up with the fun filled memories of her father and her brother. They were a bunch of clowns. Always hilarious. They were also protective of her and pampered her to the point that she truely believed in princess stories.  

So much more. Friends, school, university, first job, the first kiss, that rainy day, the first exam, the taste of success, the first job, the parties, the fancy dinners, the long walks, her husband, her adorable kids, her grand children, the beautiful house, the fights, the games, the wedding, and so much more.

What's left of a lifetime of activities is embedded in a single 6 letter word.."Memory"..It's ridiculous how life works. First you strive to do things. And at the end of it all..all you are left with is 6 letters!! Then again, only the fortunate ones get to make good ones. 

We have no realisation of how soon things change. For the good or for the bad. A lesson is learnt every day. Big or small, doesn't matter. If we have come to terms with this analogy then we must act. Act to make good memories, act to give good memories, act to be good, act to be kind, act to succeed, act to remember, act to forget, act to forgive, act to love, act to be there and act to live life every single day as this very story could be the last one you and I read. Who knows what's out there! All I know is that I wanna go out smiling and having left amazing and fond memories.

"We don't remember days..we remember moments.."

Success is a Choice..!

100,000$. The figures struck his ears like someone just pierced them with the mightiest sword. On a day with blue skies, one would feel positive about such an astronomical amount. Although for him, it wasn't there for the taking. It was his target of sales for the month.

Sales!! It could bring excruciating pain to your mind or enormous amounts of joys. For those who do it and for those who are recipients of it. 

Out here the day starts before everybody else wakes up and ends after everybody else is breathing that sigh of relief as they look at their mushy pillows. As a sales person there ain't no resting!! You snooze you lose is what they say. And it is true as a matter of fact.

There are vultures around you..not people mind you..but vultures who would swoop in and fly out with your bread if you were to as much as blink. And rightly so as sales is all about perseverance, agility and focus!

The day he stepped into this awe inspiring office, he could feel he will either be trampled over by colleagues or his spirits being crushed by the ever objecting potential clients. Nothing that the trainers filled his lucid mind with, was an easy grasp. He would ask to himself, "why should I be manipulative in the way I talk?" Why should I sound confident when I am not? Why, why and more why????

Get your arse off the seat that you warmed enough to cook pancakes on. Those words..gosh did they feel rude..! Honestly, if it wasn't for those words, he wouldn't have ever felt the pain to be insulted. The zeal to pick up the phone and start pitching. That's the way the cookie crumbles. There is nothing more fearful for a sales person than blanking.

They fight, they argue, they retaliate, they whine, they cry, they beat each other and all of that. Though, at the bar they behave like a family. A family that runs like a well oiled machine to rake in moolah!!

If anything, sales taught him some of the most important elements in life. Money being the least of worries. It taught him respect, fighting spirit, the never back down theory and dreaming big.

Everybody at some point in life or more than that is selling something. Emotions, work, physical activity, intelligence, skills, craft, commitment, time, or anything under the sun. We all sell and we all buy.

He sits today at his beach house sipping on some chateau neuf de pape, gazing into the bewildering scene of the skinny dipping sun and thinks to himself.."Get your arse off the seat that you warmed enough to cook pancakes on and pick up the damn phone.." And so he does!!

Believe in this "either you run the day..or the day runs you.."

Ragz 

Wishing Girl..!

Simplicity is the glory of expression..and boy is she simple and expressive and grounded and so humble..! Then again, take another look and with a wink of an eye that opinion puffs up as the steam in your iron box. She is a live wire, she lives off the energy around her and delivers it back too.

A someone once must have denied her of a little something. That denial must have been enough to spark off a rage within her. A rage to win, a rage to thrive, a rage to succeed, a rage to be the best, a rage to do good.

Tasting different waters of different lands may lead to abashment, bewilderment and at times paint a scary picture of instability. But for her it was a glorious journey. Every twist every turn..a classroom full of people as mates, experiences as teachers and her mind as books. She embraced, she adapted and she dwelled.

Her eyes are serene and have an intensity of a glacier at its peak of prowess. You know she is an avid art fanatic. She loves talking about art and listening too. 

Take her to a restaurant and she won't surprise you by not eating much because that is not her. 

On those petite shoulders she carries burdens and on her skinny forearms, two bags which weigh as much as her. Behind those beautiful eyes, those blushing cheeks, the enchanting smile, there is an ocean. An ocean of untamed emotions, immaculate passion, so much sadness, excruciating fears, love, hate, and a list of things which don't have humanly words of delineation.

She says she wants to learn to be a Lady. How does one tell her, she is far beyond that point. She is a good daughter, a splendid sister, a caring friend, an industrious employee, and a human being. She has been a Lady forever!

A mind which is the pinnacle of conundrums. How does she contain herself. Why is she special? She has a streak going on. A streak to outgrow her simplicity and zoom into a world sprayed with success and still retain the essence of her simplicity.

A girl who respects her parents, her religion and in general..humans..she deserves. She deserves to smile, to be happy, to grow, to succeed, to see the world.

It's never about where you come..from what you are and what you do. It's only about where you will go..what you will be and what you will do! 

For me and many of us stories like these teach. They enlighten our rusty minds to look around. Give us a jolt. True awakening and what not. Nobody will ever know you more than one person..YOU! 

Dreams aren't meant to come true..they are meant to give you direction for you to make them come true..! Whatever we do in life is a direct reflection of how we lead it. Let's stay up let's fight let's dream and let's achieve what is meant to be ours. If she can fight so can we. 

A girl..a simple girl in the illuminated city of a million shining lights finds her way past her demons and abhorrence. So we will and so it will..be a happy ending.

"Don't wait for the perfect moment..take the moment and make it perfect.."

Ragz

Let go..!

That lull in the sky and that mediocrity in the air all but vanished with a sudden shimmering thunder over the horizon. A routine busy night in the hustling city gave in to the elegance of bewildering fireworks high up in the night sky. A moment of magic to the very eyes which were exasperated with sight of the daily chores, the traffic, the fire trucks, the tears, the papers at work, the homework, the bars, the clubs, the devices, and more so other people.

We humans are such infants when it comes to finding a moment of bliss out of the smallest irregularity in life. Something out of the normal. In fact anything that gives us a gasp of awe. We are scared most of the time otherwise. Scared of the debacle life might present to us.

Ana is the name that strikes like the melodious notes of trombone to me and many people she knows. My friend! I might not have known AP (as she likes calling herself) for long enough to deduce her persona completely. However, I am captivated by the strength of her resilience to not give in to biggest catastrophic change she and her family endured. In the time I got to know her, not once did she come across as someone who knew that her very reason of existence was to fade away. Her mother would leave her side in a matter of months.

I got aware of this only after she finally left and went back home. Even after, the only vibe I ever felt from her were that of positivity. Deep inside she knew it was all but a matter of time. And where did this tenacious strength to unravel the sadness of life come from? I am certain, it came from the woman who was about to see the light anytime. Her mother must have passed on this magical ability to her.

It is just so bemusing that amidst all the chaos and negativeness in life, a single sign of strength from another human can push us to literally go past. What is it that we crave for and what is it that we attain.

Like the fireworks in the sky, we all have a certain spark inside of us. That glorious gift of strength to smile in the most horrific times of pain and sadness. That gesture of standing up and not giving in to the melancholy. Ana and her Mother have taught me to face my darkest fears with demeanor. We need to but learn the beauty of embracement. This is not only to accept defeat at times, but also to help ourselves balance our life in retrospect to how we looked at it and how and what we would do differently going forward.

This is for all those people who lost their lives trying to fight to live another day and when the time came, went out smiling.

“Giving up doesn’t mean you are weak..Sometimes it means you are strong enough to let go..”

For – 

Ragz

Fire Flies..!

"Life begins where your comfort zone ends" He said this with a lot of conviction behind his words. It is surprising how the universe conspires at times to put you in the right place at the most bizarre times! There are multiple facets of life that dawned upon me as I took this 20 minute Uber ride.

As talkative as I ever am, I met Brett who did one better. He was an intriguing conversationalist and an avid story teller. Obviously driving Uber wasn't his primary objective in life. He is in a profession most of us would either dream of or dread to be in. Two extreme scenarios. Well Brett is a firefighter!! Now most girls would jaw drop right at this moment.

The moment the words firefighter left his mouth, my mind had processed 729 questions for him. I was outpacing myself..all I had to do is say these very words.."What's your story Brett?" He had a big smile on his face right away and I would assume he gets that all the time. Eh..whatever..I am still down to listen to a few good awe inspiring crazy stories of bravado.

He gave me some unbelievable stories. One of the most intriguing ones was about these two farm boys who got stuck in some sort of farm equipment which is used to churn huge stacks of hay. This poor blokes sweater got stuck in the propeller and the next thing he knows..his arm gets squished in between those giant wheels of fury. Due to the toughness of the human bone and I would say some good karma..the propeller got jammed and it stopped. Brett was onsite on call in 4.5 minutes and found himself detaching this mans arm from the wheel to save his life. How must it feel to do that???? I was having multiple rounds of concussions just listening to the story and guess what..this man sitting next to me actually did it!!

The best part about this guy is his final words before we parted.."Hey man I love my job"!! Wow..now that is a lesson for each one of us to take home when we aimlessly cry about our jobs. I am not implying we all have the most satisfying jobs. But look at these folks. Firefighters, nurses, soldiers, cops, paramedics, and so many others. Some of them have no social life whilst others don't even know if they would have a life after finishing their hours for the day.

In retrospect, I want to look at my own life and say to myself..that I thank my parents and God to have given me this life and whatever I am doing today. I want to embrace every moment of this life and all that comes with it..my people my friends my colleagues and strangers!! 

Life is a gift and we must learn to treat it like one!