"Son, you are always surrounded by your friends..you give them way too much importance.." My mum used to tell me this when I was a teenager. Wow, I never thought I would one day say these very words "back in the day when I was a teenager." Time trumps life.
Coming back to my mothers analogy of being a little more self centred, I do get it. I know why my mum world say that. Not because she had any abhorrence towards my friends. It was more so to bring me to a juncture of self realisation that life does not work with having friends alone!!
I do not agree. It is probably a subjective argument. Let me ask you this, do you remember your earliest memory of a friend? That one kid, you literally remember being yelled at with, that kid whose lead was followed by you like he was the carrier of the beacon of your life, that one kid who you probably knew was so wrong yet you would stick around, that one kid who you fought with and still shared a lolly with, the cognisance of those days!! Flashes of your childhood and that one kid makes a whole lot of difference to the place where we are today because we laid the bricks to the monuments we are, a billion hours ago!!
Why do I remember 99.97% of my friends? I know that seems statistically impervious. I feel like every time some one uses numbers, it enhances the credibility of the matter. Regardless, the crux being, I remember not only the people tagged as my friends, but also the varied incidents associated to them.
My first ever buddy..Shantanu..who is a successful dentist today and has a beautiful wife, was the kid I wanted to be friends with. You mostly don't choose. Petty things like seating arrangement in a classroom can make a world of a difference in deciphering who you will grow up to be like. I feel friends are of paramount importance when it comes to who you become. Like parents and teachers, friends are an integral part of the architectural crew that moulds us.
My friendships have always taught me two things, first, find out the similarities, second, accept the differences!!
The preposterous pranks, the unconditional support, the study help, the covering up, the feckless laughter, the sand castles, the swing in the park, the first book, the sharing, the caring, the stories of how you like a girl, the secret keeping, the jealousy to not let anyone else be their friends, the going away, the coming together, the tears, the emotions, the gifts, the song, the birthdays, the break ups, the sex stories, the clothes that would disappear and found in her closet years after, that shoulder, that hand!!!!! No ma..my life has been defined by these people.
I am way past my teenage and my mid 20's and I still feel the exact same thing about my friends!! I make friends with the same intensity as I first made friends with Shantanu.
The thing about life is that we are yearning for success and advancement every minute every moment in time. When did you last take a step back and think about that one examination in school which would have been monstrous mountain to climb if it wasn't for your friend who helped you learn or gave you the answers in your exam? How many times do we take that plunge into the past and think those people who made a difference? Almost never, not because we are bad people, but because we are lost!!
I cherish my friends. Yesterday, today and tomorrow. Those who came and went, those who stayed and those to come. I owe my life to them as much as I owe it to my parents and my sister as they are as much of friends to me as my friends are!
I might miss out on names here but will never miss feeling gratitude and love for each one of you. Thank you my people!!
In memory of my friends Santosh, Harshad, Fayaz and all those who we lost along the way!!
"Walking with a friend in the dark, is better than walking alone in the light.."
- Ragz
